Can Micro Moments Build a Stronger Community?
What does community mean to you? Is it about where you live? Who you know? Or could it be something simpler, more subtle, built one small moment at a time?
In a world where loneliness is on the rise (even when we’re more digitally connected than ever before) I believe the foundation of community is real human connection. Not necessarily big gestures or organised meetups (though those can help) but tiny acts of presence, kindness and attention that remind us we belong.
Our modern world hasn’t helped much with this. Technology has so many gifts to offer, but it’s also pulled our attention inward; into screens, into apps, into ourselves and we are increasingly losing the art of connection. Even at home have you noticed how we can all be in the same room, sitting on the sofa, yet completely disconnected? Everyone lost in their own device. My hand is up, is yours?
I’ve been guilty of this. We all have.
Psychologist Barbara Fredrickson talks about what she calls being in a “cocoon of self-absorption”. We get so caught up in our own thoughts and to-do lists that we forget to look up, reach out and connect. And when we stay in that cocoon, community fades into the background. But the good news is it doesn’t take much to come back.
In her book Love 2.0, Fredrickson talks about creating “micro moments” of positive connection. These are fleeting interactions (only 20 to 30 seconds) that are enough to boost your mood, regulate your nervous system and yes, help you feel part of something bigger.
And they can happen anywhere.
Maybe it’s smiling and chatting with the person at the checkout. Or exchanging a few words with someone at the photocopier. Or just making eye contact and sharing a smile with a stranger in the waiting room. These might seem small but they’re the building blocks of connection. They’re the seeds of community.
I’ve started making more of an effort to create these moments in my everyday life. On my daily walks I smile at people and say hello. Sometimes it leads to a conversation. Sometimes just a shared smile. But it always leaves me feeling better and I believe it does the same for the other person too.
Even at home I’m more intentional about being fully present. I’ve noticed how easy it is to be physically in the room with family but mentally somewhere else; thinking about work, the shopping list, the next thing on my to-do list. But now I’m consciously looking for micro moments to connect.
The other evening my son and I sat on the sofa, just the two of us. No phones. No television. He’s 23 now and honestly, I can’t remember the last time we did that. We just chatted—about his day, how he was feeling and nothing in particular. It was simple. It was real. It was community in its most personal form.
So my challenge to you is this:
Can you create one micro moment of connection today?
And then one tomorrow? And the next day?
When we each do this, when we step out of our cocoons and offer connection to others, we begin to rebuild the invisible threads of community that we all need to thrive. Science shows how vital this is for our mental wellbeing. But even more than that, it just feels good. For you. For the people around you.
If you’d like to be part of a warm, welcoming community where these ideas are shared and lived, I’d love to invite you to join my friendly Facebook group, A Calmer Mind, A Happier You. This is a space where I share mindset tips and gentle ways to live a happier, more fulfilled life. I'm in there most days and would love to welcome you. Click here to join.
Let’s keep creating a kinder, more connected world one micro moment at a time.
Love Jayne xx
PS - If you want to contact me to learn more about working together click here.
